National Poetry Writing Month Day 29
So one's the title of a magazine? Do you get mixed up with these?
Inquire vs Enquire
I love interviews and advice, like...
An Interview - Garbhán Downey
Q4. Any advice for a greenhorn trying to break into the crime fiction scene?
Stick at it and the breaks will come. Oh – and be lucky!
Now I'm known as Mr C Scribe formerly of Greyabbey
What did I miss?
Change your feeds, bookmarks. The duck, still blue, has floated.
It was free e-books last week and now it's free books.
Free Books For Bloggers
More advice for writers...
Take A Leaf Out Of My Book - Write Micro Fiction?
You'll not find me there, that's for sure.
Irish nudes wanted!!! Brrrr.......
And from My Del.icio.us
Jean Bleakney was born in Newry, Northern Ireland. A former biochemist, she...
In the year 1941, I began work in the Old Bleach Linen Company in Randalstown. I was 14 and a half years old and I had no choice as to where I would work. My older sister...
BELFAST-BORN novelist and playwright Lucy Caldwell is one of Northern Ireland's rising literary stars...
When I think of a singer in Omagh I immediately think of Juliet Turner who sang at the memorial service back in 1998.
When it comes to poets I reckon every town should be represented by a poet. Representing Omagh, I'd say, is the poet Aine MacAodha. She's recently published a book of her poetry entitled Where The Three Rivers Meet which you can purchase @ Lulu.Com. I'm a cheapskate and I downloaded it for free, though I really should have it in my bookcase, or on a coffee table.
One of my favourite poems in the book which I hope you enjoy reading and that paints a very positive picture of Omagh, is...
Losing My Religion
It wasn’t easy growing up
around the fortress
of a garrison town.
When the troubles
were our second coats,
fear our constant companion.
The instinctual things
a teenager had to know
by heart, by soul.
What side of the street
was yours to tread?
Cover up the school
uniform in the town,
or it sealed your fate
like a patriotic tattoo,
or a flag always flying;
when certain colours
out of safety zones meant
a potential beating.
Knowing to keep your
head down when the
landrovers followed you home.
Divided by a war we didn’t
When escape meant the border
singing Irish songs of freedom,
horslips and Celtic rock
without the watchful eye of
Now the shroud of war is lifted,
I can envelope myself in the beauty
of my own country without fear or
Aine MacAodha was born Ann Keys, in the North of Ireland in 1963. Her sense of place growing up amid the war in the north, and the beauty surrounding it, inspires her writing.This is her first collection of poems spanning ten years. The title, Where the three rivers Meet refers to the three rivers in Omagh that meet in the town’s centre, The Strule, Drumragh and the Camowen. She also draws much of her inspiration from The Sperrin Mountains, in her native Tyrone.
Her work has appeared in various magazines and anthologies throughout Ireland, USA and the UK. She is a founder member of the Omagh Writers Group, the Busheaneys, and The Derry Playhouse Writers. In 2001, she received the Tyrone Guthrie Bursary from Omagh District Council.
You can see much of her poetry on her website:
And her photography can be seen on the Red Bubble website:
She has three grown-up children, Michaela, Penny and James.
“ Aine MacAodha is a poet whose words bring forth her inner light and fire. She is “The Fire of the Gaels,” for Aine herself is an Epic Hero, an ‘every woman’ who has lived through tumultuous times, troubles, and highs. Hers is the deepening of the human experience, placed in poetic form. Aine is a voice of both history and present. Her voice and memories serve as needed reminders of a time in Ireland that should not be forgotten, whilst also presenting a link to the history of Ireland and the future. As a poet, she reveals the trinity of the ‘Goddesses of the deep,’ the Mother, and the Friend in all of her poems. It has been my great pleasure to work with her both as an editor/publisher, and as a friend. “
~ Karen Bowles La Luciole Magazine, Luciole Press
|Project Title : new drink related magazine|
|Project Type :||Project Manager : James Carder|
|Email : email@example.com||Phone : 07999780742|
|Project Details :|
I am in the process of setting up an alcohol inspired magazine. It will predominantly be concerned with cocktails, whilst maintaining a satirical approach to nightlife in Belfast. Think Ulster Tatler meets The Vacuum. To cut matters short I am looking for writers with the palate for a good cocktail combined with a knowledge of alcohol and backed up with the wit of W.C.Fields.
It will be a free magazine. To get an idea of what may be required take a look at www.drinkonline.eu , as this will be its sister publication. We will be looking to do something slightly different.
I am, this evening, seriously considering starting to research this. As all good non-fiction writing tutors advise ' A writer should research his topic first'. So I will. I'm away to the bar...
An evening of performance poetry and improvisational music
5 College Court, Belfast
Bring Your Own
Open Jack Nights are one of Belfast's newest traditions, started as part of the Sonorites Festival at Queen's; these jamming sessions hosted at Catalyst Arts Gallery are fastly becoming one of the favorite activities within the art scene in Belfast. Analogue to common "open mic" events at traditional venues, open jack is an open forum for musicians and audiences interested in electronic music. From known personalities to local electronic music enthusiasts, open jack is for all to join, jam, improvise and share music making in real-time. The idea is simple: Electronic Art Music lives outside academia, open jack is all about the music. No prizes, no awards, no recognition, no building up your CV, no 3 pages program notes explaining why anyone SHOULD like a performance or piece, no bringing your rehearsed stuff, no overthought overstructured compositions, no theories behind. Just live improvisation in a collective environment following the groove of the night.
Past editions of these nights have included reknowned improvisers such as: Akihiro Kubota, Jason Dixon, Henry Vega, BLISS, Katarzyna Glowicka, Paul Stapleton and others.
- Rules are straightforward:
- Up to 4 performers on stage at a time.
- First come first plays basis.
- Performers are replaced one by one, whom ever enters the jam must join the music being played at that time.
Belfast Poets are a motley crew of manic poets...
I am such a spazz for not blogging! I'm getting far too lazy!
But i have now been Blogrolled by Cyberscribe Cyberscroll (he sounds like a Superhero) and he is a proper blogger so i might get some hits from his site, I have to keep blogging!
I will be back blogging this week!
Since then he's faced a couple of problems, but none that a superhero can't solve . The first was an MOT failure. Secondly, he says he's facing a dilemma and he says he needs our help but I know that Superhero Gohir doesn't. He'll choose both Gemma Atkinson and Holly Valance, he can do it.
As they say in County Tyrone, County Armagh and County Derry "Go on ye boy ye"
Heroes Season 2 begins with our heroes striving to be ordinary, four months after the explosive events in New York at the end of Season 1.
The fates of Peter, Nathan and Matt are revealed, following the showdown with Sylar and Peter's uncontrolled nuclear detonation miles above New York City. As everyone attempts to move on, a new sinister force begins stalking and murdering heroes. With the family hiding in Southern California, HRG and Claire attempt to live as inconspicuously as possible - which proves to be easier said than done.
Meanwhile, after landing in feudal Japan, Hiro meets his hero Takezo Kensei. And twins Maya and Alejandro Herrera hope to make the crossing into the US from Mexico, in hopes of finding help with their deadly abilities.
but I'll have to record it as I've been sent this reminder in the post...
I'm sure the regular readers of this blog will know that I can't afford to miss that.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that could move apart and slide back together again.
The boy asked, "What is this, Father?" The father (never having seen a Lift ) responded, "Son, I have never anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching in amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled her way up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small chamber. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until the last number was reached; then the numbers began to light in reverse order.
Finally the walls opened again, and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Go get your mother."
The Northern Ireland Assembly is to debate a proposal to impose a night time curfew on novice drivers.
North Down MLA Peter Weir has also proposed limiting the number and age of passengers and a total alcohol ban on newly qualified drivers.
... highlights the problem and the attitude that some of the 'boy racers' seem to have or develop. I'd tend to ignore the problem with boy racers, if they don't annoy me why should I be annoyed. However, reading about lowlife like McGinn shows how easy it is for things to get out of hand. I think that as well as Peter Weir's suggestion, young people should be taught to drive responsibly and how to handle a car in a difficult situation.
Christopher McGinn, 18, was jailed last week for four years for driving a vehicle which struck two cars on the Dublin Road, Newry in October 2006.
Stephen Shields, 44, from Newry and Dromintee man Gerald Fearon, 26, died.Mr Shields' widow Catherine said she was disgusted at the lack of remorse McGinn had shown in his Bebo profile.
I've been on the receiving end of dangerous driving back about ten years ago when a "traffic cop"based in North Belfast drove through a red light which resulted in my Volvo being written off. I was driving through a green light on to the M3 at 3 am when his Merc hit me. Inside about 2 minutes the area was covered with other police men. Fortunately nobody was injured in the accident. Around the time the accident happened I didn't consider contacting any newspapers to publicise the story of this guy, who I've seen on television since talking about traffic related issues. I didn't even put an personal injury claim against the traffic cop, probably because I wasn't injured .I'd never even heard about the Police Ombudsman then, who I might've been able to contact. This experience, that accident, left me that I wouldn't know who would be suitable to teach young people driving skills when traffic police don't always show a good example.
I've also developed an attitude recently towards 'boy racers' , 'killer drivers' and 'drunk drivers.. It's, if I read or see on television that one's been killed I think 'it serves them right'. I also discovered someone, who is perceived to be a prominent member of the community, had killed his first wife in a car accident. He was drunk when driving. When I discovered this I totally changed my attitude towards him. I've spoke to this guy when he was sitting in his car and I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I know the accident was maybe over 30 years ago, but having the nerve to even get into a car after drinking alcohol I find astounding. The sad thing is that no doubt if he's stopped by the police and they notice he's been drinking all he'd have to do was mention who he was and where he's from and the police would probably just send him on. Let's hope he doesn't kill anyone else.
The title of the blog sh1tty 1st draft was inspired initially by Anne Lamott
I'd like to read more. So if you've something you can add to the site, please e-mail me @ firstname.lastname@example.org or leave a comment here.
Patrick McCabe, the acclaimed Irish novelist behind such best selling books as The Butcher Boy and Breakfast on Pluto, will be reading in Derry as one of the special guests of the Derry-based group the Poetry Chicks to mark their new stage show, Feck Yer Cosy Home!, which will run, for one night only, at The Playhouse's St Columb's Hall Orchard Street this Sunday, April 27 at 8pm.
Shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize for both The Butcher Boy and Breakfast on Pluto, Clones-born Patrick McCabe has become well known for his mostly dark and violent novels set in contemporary, often small-town, Ireland. His last novel, Winterwood, published in 2006, was named the 2007 Hughes & Hughes Irish Independent Irish Novel of the Year and been short-listed for the IMPAC Award. He is currently completing a novel called The Holy City about sacred rapture and a protestant called Dolly Mixtures.
Feck Yer Cosy Home! is brought to you by two of the three Poetry Chicks - Abby Oliveira and Pamela Brown, under the direction of Ann Hamilton. The show boasts new and exciting material that has never been performed before and remains true to the Chicks' mantra - that of truth, humour and reality with no apology, excuse or apathy and is further enhanced by music and visuals to accompany their words.
Also performing at this much-anticipated event will be Victoria Geelan, Ravi Sharma and Kevin McAleese from psychedelic funk groovers, Mantic - "...a fireball of psychedelic funk rock energy to burn your ear-balls and hypnotise your eye-drums".
Box Office: 028 71268027
Formed in 2006, the Poetry Chicks have established a reputation as performance poets, published authors and creative writing facilitators.
For more information on the Poetry Chicks please visit us at www.myspace.com/poetrychicks or request info by emailing us at either of these addresses: email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org
- Avoid cycling or excessive exercise for several hours. Ideally rest by sitting in a chair and use an extra pillow for the first night.
- Do not drink anything alcoholic for the first 24 hours and avoid smoking.
- Take any pain-killing tablets as advised by your dentist. Follow any instructions regarding dosage carefully.
- After six hours rinse your mouth gently with a warm salt solution [level teaspoon of salt to a cup of water] and continue after meals and before bed for seven days, or as advised by your dentist.
- You may feel the sharp edge of a socket with your tongue and occasionally small fragments of bone may work their way out. This is normal.
- Try not to disturb the socket with your tongue, by eating food on that side, or by vigorous rinsing. This will delay the healing process.
According to Billy...
- "You on a bike that'll be a first and the only exercise you do is Egyptian P.E, go on move that finger".
- "When I got any teeth out I'd be straight down to the pub and had a 'half-un'or maybe two or three"
- "Some of those dentists, you couldn't be sure about them and they charge the earth. For what? "
- "A warm salt solution, get down to the pub and get wasted and less of that shite. A warm salt solution, for fuck's sake"
- "Small fragments of bone, normal? My arse, if he did the job properly he'd have got the whole tooth and all the bloody fragments out"
- "Try not to disturb. You should still be wearing that I am disturbed t-shirt. Showing me that stupid list I'll delay the bloody healing process you wingnut"
Fed up yet?
Please note in compiling this list a couple were accidentally deleted one of which was the feed for 'isadub.com ' the other I'll let you know about later on.
Is your feed not there, do you want me to read your blog, via Google Reader? Just let me know.
You may have noticed that yesterdays post was something of a lame effort. I blame the fact that I was out on Thursday night and slept in a little on Friday, but that’s not important right now…
I was appropriately chastised for this lack of effort. And then again, this afternoon I was chastised for not having something new, fresh and interesting content up. But sure, it’s Saturday; I can’t be expected to be bright and funny too early in the morning. Anyway, this morning I was busy with my whirley-bird obsession this morning; apparently posting from 50 foot over Strangford Lough would be considered somewhat reckless…
Anyway, as I say, I was chastised. But then, why? What kind of content is appropriate to respond with?
- A silly quiz, such as has been the stable of this place for a very long time?
- A semi-thought out post, not with much in the way of links, that nearly nobody will read and fewer people will comment on?
- A proper, full blown rant with nothing like thought getting in the way of some decent swearing?
- A little link to someone else’s blog, with the three simple letters afterwards: heh?
- A moany list of a post, because I can’t be arsed writing anything?
Decisions decisions. So, what should I go for?
He could've added a photo of Strangford Lough
Or given, as a pilot, his views on the question posed by treehugger
Will Northern Ireland become the "Saudi Arabia of marine energy"?
which was found in article about the SeaGen tidal energy converter which has been successfully set into the water off Northern Ireland's Strangford Lough.
If Ed had used the word chastised more, or obsession, or even the word arsed . No, it doesn't matter Zementa aren't giving any suggestions for that.
There is however another photo that looks interesting...Image via Wikipedia
I don't know what relevance that photograph has to anything else written above.
Zemanta would've helped him to add more tags to his post which would include; Northern Ireland, Strangford Lough, SeaGen, United Kingdom, Saudi Arabia, Will Northern Ireland, Government, Society and Culture.
I'm glad to read this afternoon that Ed isn't suffering 'bloggers block' and is proving the fact that the way to a good blog post is through the stomach.
Comics, Irish mythology and whatever else happens to be on my mind
A blog/website by Patrick Brown, a cartoonist, writer and translator from Belfast in Northern Ireland.Which includes his ongoing webcomic, The Ulster Cycle and some other comics and cartoons, life drawings, photographs, family history etc. A great weekend read.
GOOD things come to those who wait, says the latest spectacular TV advert for Guinness.
But people in the remote Argentine village where it was filmed have never tasted a drop of the famous Irish stout.
And tourists making a Guinness drinkers' pilgrimage can't buy a pint anywhere.
Shot in the northern mountain enclave of Iruya, the ad features all 1000 inhabitants.
Called Tipping Point, it begins with just one domino, which sets off a chain reaction of cascading objects, from wardrobes to cars toppling through the streets.
The climax sees 10,000 black and white books sculpted into a giant pint glass, each opening in turn to look like a pint of Guinness is being poured.
Iruya cafe owner Cesar Luis Arturo, 36, said hordes of tourists were pouring in for a pint of stout, but they were leaving disappointed.
He said: "We are now famous for something we don't have."
Guinness lovers Phillip and Jackie Green travelled from Liverpool hoping to enjoy a pint in the "domino town".
Jackie, 48, said: "Phil wanted to brag to his mates about having a pint in the village. He was very disappointed."
Guinness marketing manager Paul Cornell said: "Sadly, Iruya does not have the infrastructure to support our draught products."
source -The Daily Record
Isn't that sad.
Fly Roundtrip to Any Destination Serviced by BRITISH AIRWAYS - FREE*!
Reply Reply to all Forward Print Add British to Contacts list Delete this message Report phishing Show original Message text garbled? from British Airway email@example.com hide details 20:51 (35 minutes ago) reply-to firstname.lastname@example.org to email@example.com date 16 Apr 2008 15:51:03 -0400 subject British Airways Ticket Offer Confirmation
This email is a commercial advertisement. If you wish to not receive information from us, please let us know and you will be excluded from future distributions immediatley http://peptalk.carintl.com/U
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I couldn't resist, I had to check out the site the spammers wanted me to visit.It was Brandarama.co.uk The small print on the page read...
This is an advertisement powered by Brandarama.co.uk. Brandarama.co.uk is an independent rewards program that runs lead generation and promotional services on behalf of certain advertisers but is not associated with any of the featured products. The featured products in no way endorse or sponsor any offer.I wondered why they actually sent the e-mail and it wasn't until I'd seen the picture I realised. It's the words 'upgrade to British Airways'. Upgrade, what could be worse.
Thank You Mr Spammer for amusing me for 5 minutes, it's time now for me to delete the rest of my spam. Also Mr Spammer I hope you don't mind but I sort of stole the picture from your website, I couldn't resist that too. You already know my e-mail address so I didn't get past the first page of your offer, I hope you don't mind.It's like I didn't really get started, maybe next time.Have a nice day Mr Spammer :-)
Another couple of metres further down the road, still on the lookout for the elusive sexy nun I looked towards the ground and noticed the disabled parking bay. I had to look twice and wondered, is that for bikers. Or is there a reason a line is painted through the disabled sign. Maybe whoever painted that line wasn't aware that the Alcohol Free Area wasn't exclusively up beside the cross.
That's outside the Rosey Apple. It is tempting, I just might go inside the Rosey Apple, but can you take pictures? Is that where the sexy nuns hang out?
Robbery leaves pensioner shaken
A woman in her 80s has been left shocked following a robbery at her south Belfast home. It happened at about 1630 BST on Monday at Lille Park in Finaghy. A man dressed in a high-visibility vest restrained the pensioner before searching the house. Car keys and a purse containing cash were stolen. It is thought two other men also entered the house during the robbery. The woman was shaken but not hurt.
I'd think 'she's OK, it says she was shaken but not hurt.
Some stories will never reach the newspapers.
My Uncle has lived all his life on a farm up on the North Coast, near the Giant's Causeway.When he came back from church on Sunday he discovered that his house had been broken into. They had forced open a back window to get in and had stolen money and bank cards.The were on the scene quite quickly and tried for finger prints but suspected the thieves had been wearing gloves.
His wife, my Aunt, suffers from Alzheimers and has recently been admitted to a local nursing home.This robbery will leave my Uncle, a man in his late 70's feeling vulnerable. It's enough to deal with someone who has Alzheimer's, but add this robbery to it. The low life that carried this out, pick on the most vulnerable when they are at their weakest. If they get caught and sentenced they'll get more support than the victims. I hope sometime our local MLA's and MP's get their act together and the perpetrators of these crimes we read about on a daily basis are made to suffer. That the low life are made to pay for what they've done.
Newcastle - Down Writers' Network is an informal and friendly group of people who share an interest in writing. The group meets monthly in the relaxed and beautiful setting of Newcastle, Co.Down. We welcome new and returning members for a laidback enjoyable morning where you can listen to others reading their work or you can read your work if you like, but no pressure. From time to time we also run writing workshops to help members develop their skills. If you would like to enjoy a stimulating and creative Saturday morning, you'll be very welcome.I believe it is important, if you want to progress as a writer, to be in a creative writer's group. John Lundberg blogged back at the end of last year...
When: 10a.m - 1pm on the 1st Saturday of every Month (except July & August)
Venue: Newcastle Centre
For further information, contact: firstname.lastname@example.org
Shalom Writers’ Group was established in 2003 emerging from a BIFHE Creative Writing class led by Ruth Carr. Last year we took the decisive step to become an independent group and now meet every Thursday morning in Belfast Central Library, Royal Avenue. Once a month after our meeting we read our own work and the work of others in the Library’s Chapter One Café. Everyone is welcome to join us there.
With almost a year of our independent writing group status under our wings, the Group is now seeking to expand numbers. If you have an interest in joining a writing group and have some writing experience you may like to get in touch. You can do so by contacting the Secretary, Denis O’Sullivan, by email at email@example.com . It would help if you could send a sample of your work, 2 poems or a short piece of prose (1000 words max.)
If you've only been honing your craft with your significant other, and maybe a few questionable critics on a message board, you should consider joining a workshop: a small group of writers, usually led by an instructor, who share and critique each other's work. Workshops have become the backbone of writing instruction in this country, and the format offers a lot of advantages.
The structure of a workshop is simple: 1) participants bring in work for review; 2) each participant reads and critiques it; and 3) the group discusses the work as a whole. This provides you with a lot of differing opinions on your work and exposes you to the struggles and successes of other aspiring writers. You'll learn what works (and doesn't work) for you, but you'll also glean what works (and doesn't work) for others. Finally, a workshop allows you to develop relationships with other writers: your classmates might be your doorway into a local poetry community and could turn into your most trusted readers. John Lundberg
A young man was visiting some houses with Gospel tracts. At one door he knocked but received no answer. However, he kept on knocking and later heard someone coming down the stairs. Eventually the door was opened, but only slightly. He reached out a tract to the man, who grabbed it, and closed the door. It all seemed a bit strange.....
During the following week he visited the same house again and knocked at the door. He did not have to knock twice. The door was opened at once and the man said to him, "Come in, I would like to talk to you." Then he led the young man upstairs. Opening a door he led his visitor into a room where a frightening scene awaited them. From a roof beam hung a rope. At the end of the rope there was a noose, and beneath the noose stood a box. The man continued, "The reason why I brought you up here is to tell you that last Sunday when you knocked my door, I was standing on that box. My head was in that noose, and I was ready to jump off, and commit suicide. My life had been ruined by sin, and I did not want to live any longer. Just then I heard you knocking and I wondered what to do. Should I jump off and finish everything, or should I go down and answer the door for the last time? As you know, I went down, and received this tract, and God has so blessed the message to me that He has saved my soul and saved my life."
I'm sure Pastor Psychopath mentioned the word faith during his sermon this afternoon and I think I'd need more faith to believe that story. If you had considered committing suicide a week ago would you still leave the noose hanging? How many roof beams have you in your house that would be handy to hang yourself on? Honestly now, could a reason to kill yourself be 'My life had been ruined by sin, and I did not want to live any longer'?
Sunday afternoon reading, who needs Sunday papers?
For anyone who reads this and is feeling suicidal, talk to someone.
What happened the first time you were left home alone as a child?I can't remember what happened the first time I was left alone as a child. I remember being left at a boarding school the first time.
I'll start waffling a bit here, I need another 90 characters before this plugin starts to give me suggestions.
I attended boarding school out in West Africa as a child and remember being very upset when I was left there at the age of 7.
Oh look the suggestions have appeared already, Thank God. The first suggestion is from an article WordPress Wednesday News I'm blogging from blogger so that suggestion isn't that relevant to me. The next is an article about Zemanta which was posted two weeks ago. There is now on the sidebar as I blog, a gallery and I've added the 'firefox' image to the blog post quicker than I could add an image normally. I've also let the blog be ZEMIFIED and hopefully added and applied 6 links and 8 tags to this post. Next time I blog I'll not use the word Zemanta and see what happens.
Oh, isn't this fun! Zemanta has put the fun back into blogging whether or not it has made me write better blog posts I'll never know unless someone tells me.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder & got a little behind in his work.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large
A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.
A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture: a jab well done