11.12.07

Between your legs.

This amused me for a minute,via facebook...

Between your legs.

Everybody.. lets get this started and see what creative movie titles we can come up with.. here's the rules.. think up a movie title(ANY movie title), and add "Between Your Legs" to the movie title..ill get it goin...continue to forward this!!!

Littler Britain The Ring Between your legs

Cindy :- Rush Hour Between Your Legs

Patrick :- Gone with the wind Between your legs

Carl :- Finding Nemo Between your legs

Damian:- Mad MAx Between your legs

David:- Armageddon Between your legs

Andre: - 300 Between your legs

Trace: - Dirty Dancing Between your legs...

Amy: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure Between Your Legs

Jordy: Midnight Express Between your legs

Joshua: Training Day Between your legs

Callie: Cruel Intentions Between your Legs

Tom: Final Fantasy Between your legs

Garrett: The Abyss Between your legs

Scotty: Groundhog Day Between Your Legs

Flash: Blow between your legs

Julia: The Sweetest Thing between your legs

Gemma: The Grinch between your legs

Bully: Jaws between your legs

Laura Grease between your legs

brett: snatch between your legs!

Gina: The Hand between your legs

Tony: Bad Taste between your legs

Nick : Hot Fuzz between your legs

Pete: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly between your legs

Andrea: it's a boy girl thing between your legs

Zen: The Thing Between Your Legs

Susan: From Dusk 'Till Dawn Between Your Legs

Go on, if you want to...

Overheard in a car park earlier today...

"Be Good"
"If you can't be good, be careful"
"If you can't be careful, remember the date"

10.12.07

Titillating titles?

If I was to try and write one of those 'rant type' blog posts tonight I'd have to pick a titillating title.Let's see

  • Once upon a time there was a builder from Portaferry called *******.

  • Trevor, Dickhead Of The Day!

  • What's that smell? Oh it's just the usual Greyabbey smell.

  • And the Oscar goes to *******.

  • A fortnight to Christmas, do you think I give a fuck?


  • I can't decide, so I'll leave you with...


    I might be back sooner than you think :-)

    7.12.07

    Stroked from Nadine's Notes

    Spake Belfast lik

    A
    Afeard - scared
    Ah - I or me, ie Ah don't feel well
    Aminal -common mispronounciation of Animal
    Amptinat? -I most definitely am.
    Ar$ehole -calling someone a rectum
    Aye -meaning "yes"

    B
    Balleex -"b0ll0cks" Thats balleex - Used in context when disagreeing with someone
    Bake -someones face
    Baltic - quite cold
    Banjaxed - drunk
    Bate -beat, I bate her up so ah did
    Bate The Wife - bottle of cider
    Beef -male sexual organ ie "Ah slipped her the beef lawst nite"
    Beezer - Very good, Thats Beezer
    Beg -wafer thin plastic vessel; good for carrying shopping :also oul' beg" when referring to an elderly female
    Blurt -Slang for female genetalia
    Boggen - dirty, unclean
    Boulin' -messing about
    Bout Ye -"Hello"
    Brave - large
    Brew - weekly benefit
    Buggered -broken

    C
    Cameracorder -grannies use of the word "camcorder"
    Cheeser -like Beezer, meaning "very good" or "exellent"
    Chicken -child slang for "afraid"
    Chinks -popular Chinese food Take Aways
    Childer -children
    Cracker -not something you put cheese on, means beezer
    Creamed -tired

    D
    Dander -a walk, ie I'm goin fer a dander
    Dawg -canine, dog
    Digikil -common mis-prounciation of "Digital"
    Drawers -underwear
    Dour -a door
    Duncher -Cap

    E
    Earlee-er -before the present
    Eejit -derived from "Idiot", means "Idiot"
    Eff Aaf - F*ck Off

    F
    FaakAaf - Excuse me my good man, kindly vacate the premises
    Faaler -father
    Fally - follow
    Fillum -a movie or film
    Fingy -someone whose name you can't remember
    Frig -polite word for "F*ck", also used: Flip
    Flour - a floor
    Fut - foot

    G
    Gat -slang, You're a wee gat or get
    Geg -fun, "Ats a geg"
    Getawaydaf*ck -go away now
    Givuz -give me
    Glass -Half-Pint
    Goes -replaces the word "Said" ie And I goes: What? Are you slabberin'?" And then she goes,Yip."
    Gutties -training shoes

    H
    Happy Days - that's good
    Hardly -meaning "Thats not true" ie Hardly now. Hardly.
    Hectic - See Mad
    Heel -not to be confused with the back of your foot, means end of a loaf
    Heerzme - "And then I said..."
    Hippy - someone who likes Bon Jovi
    Houl On -please wait

    J
    Job -activity usually carried out under the cover of night
    Joken -joking

    K
    Kudn't -couldn't ie Ah kudn't do that...

    L
    Lairdindeyit -please do start eating (or drinking) see also
    "wiredintillit"
    Leenantarsapees -Famous Italian landmark
    Lifted - arrested
    Lingo -language

    M
    Mad - See Hectic
    Mairshen -Emersion Heater
    Magic -not tricks, but another word meaning great or good
    Majassif - large
    Mawn -a man, male
    Meat Wagon -RUC Landrovers
    Melt -no actual meaning, used as: "I'll knock your melt in"
    Messages - weekly shopping
    Milly -name given to teenage females. See also: Steek
    Moufycunt - rather outspoken person
    Mucker -a friend or mate
    Muller -Mother or "Ma"

    N
    Nek it - drink that drink in one
    Nice One -that was good
    Norman -bullying term for someone with no friends
    Norwegain - Another Gin please
    Now Yer Sucken Deezel -that's a good way of going about that

    O
    Offees -alchohol retailer
    Oi -a yelp for someones attention ie Oi! You! C'mere!"
    Oxters -Armpits

    P
    Pat - container in which food is boiled
    Prably -maybe, its likely
    Passion -heavy rain in Ballymena
    Parfil - strong
    Peeler -a police officer
    Piece-sandwich
    Pot - short for Patrick
    Pssskety -common misprounciation of "Spaghetti"
    Pump - to urinate
    Purdie -countryside slang for Potato

    Q
    Quim -slang for female genetalia

    R
    Ragin' -angry, Ahm bloody ragin' so ah am.
    Ration -you'd be doing this if you were trying to get to somewhere
    in a hurry, in Ballymena
    Rare -not to be confused with "scarce", means crap

    S
    Samitch -mispronunciation of "Sandwhich"
    Scundered - embarrassed
    Sebm -seven [7]
    Shap -shop
    Shar -a shower
    Sicken' Ye - would annoy you
    Skinned Ye! - Haha my good friend, I do believe I won that particular game by a significant margin
    Slabber -someone who makes bad comments about you behind your back or to your face
    Spoofen - lying
    Spide - see Steek
    Spoon -someone with a low IQ
    Steek -male with bad dress and hair sense
    Stroked - stolen / ripped off

    T
    Ta -Thank You
    Tarl - a towel
    Theee -the number three
    Theee Leet - 3 litre bottle of cider
    Till -replaces the word "to" ie Goin till the shap"
    Tube -see: Spoon
    Two Leet - 2 litre bottle of cider

    U
    Undurstawnd -understand ie Do ye undurstawnd me?

    V
    Vaka -Vodka

    W
    Weaker -yet another word for "brilliant"
    Welt -male genitals
    Wee -put in front of words such as "drink", "dander", and basically anything
    Wick -not exactly brilliant
    Willik - nose
    Wiredintillit -"Got wiredintillit earlee-er"
    Windie -a window
    Windielickurs -horrid term for the mentally disadvantage
    Windie Still -a window sill
    Wheelie bin - a bin
    Wooden One -not a clever person

    X
    X-Acktlee-exactly

    Y
    Yermaa -an insult said when nothing else can be thought of
    Yeegittin? -Are you being served?
    Yip -yes
    Yousens - When addressing more than one person

    6.12.07

    This is just an experiment.

    I'm typing...

    best buy,cartoon television,computer,early television,media,north korea,radio, studebaker,telephone,Television,television facts,television programmes,television sets,television shows,television statistics,television timeline,television violence,tv,tv guide,watching television


    just to see what happens here.

    In the near future...

    There shall be posted on this blog, answers to questions.These questions were sent using electronic mail to members of the Northern Irish Bloggers Web Ring

    Q&A's already include...

    Who is your favourite comedian?- Bertie Ahern ! Before he 'took to the stage' , it was Charlie Haughey !

    If you were to relive your life to this point, is there anything you'd do differently? yep

    If you won a million on the Lotto what would you spend it on?: one penny coins so I could spend my dying days counting on something.


    I bet you just can't wait.

    5.12.07

    Blast Off!

    It hasn't happened yet, but when the word blaster or blast is mentioned it reminded me of when I was young. Yes I am really old, old enough to remember watching Dixon of Dock Green on one of those newly fangled television sets. A sign of old age is you start to ramble slightly and go off track. My home help , who helps me blog, has reminded me "tell them about Sunday School".

    When I attended Sunday School at a 'fundie evangelical church' one of the choruses they sang was

    The Blast Off Song
    10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,
    Blast Off

    Somewhere in outer space
    God has prepared a place
    For those who trust Him and obey
    Jesus will come again
    And though we don't know when
    The countdown's getting lower every day.

    CHORUS:
    10 and 9, 8 and 7, 6 and 5 and 4,
    Call upon the Savior while you may,
    3 and 2, coming through the clouds in bright array
    The countdown's getting lower every day.

    Jesus was crucified, suffered and bled he died,
    But on the cross He did not stay
    He made this promise true, I will come back for you,
    The countdown's getting lower every day.

    CHORUS

    Soon will the trumpet sound, and we’ll rise off the ground
    With Christ forever will we be
    Children where will you be, throughout eternity?
    The countdown’s getting lower everyday!

    As I'm really old and don't have long to live and because I believe in 'eternal security' from my investigations and from studying the Scriptures I know I'll go to heaven when I die. Heaven will probably look something like this.


    The people in heaven with me, they are all a bunch of?

    4.12.07

    Possibly the shittiest film ever shot in Greyabbey.

    It normally takes a year for us to fill up our septic tank. A septic tank, for those uninformed city dwellers is...

    A single-story, watertight, on-site treatment system for domestic sewage, consisting of one or more compartments, in which the sanitary flow is detained to permit concurrent sedimentation and sludge digestion. The septic tank is constructed of materials not subject to decay, corrosion, or decomposition, such as precast concrete, reinforced concrete, concrete block, or reinforced resin and fiberglass. The tank must be structurally capable of supporting imposed soil and liquid loads. Septic tanks are used primarily for individual residences, isolated institutions, and commercial complexes such as schools, prisons, malls, fairgrounds, summer theaters, parks, or recreational facilities. Septic tanks have limited use in urban areas where sewers and municipal treatment plants exist.

    Septic tanks do not treat sewage; they merely remove some solids and condition the sanitary flow so that it can be safely disposed of to a subsurface facility such as a tile field, leaching pools, or buried sand filter. The organic solids retained in the tank undergo a process of liquefaction and anaerobic decomposition by bacterial organisms. The clarified septic tank effluent is highly odorous, contains finely divided solids, and may contain enteric pathogenic organisms. The small amounts of gases produced by the anaerobic bacterial action are usually vented and dispersed to the atmosphere without noticeable odor or ill effects. source www.answers.com

    We haven't been overeating or over drinking or over washing or over showering or leaving all the taps running 24 hours a day, but somehow our tank is full. The tank was emptied a month ago.This has caused a few problems which, just in case your eating, I'll not share here. Our problems will cease tomorrow because not only is the tank being emptied but Master Blaster will call with his film crew. They claim...
    We undertake CCTV of drains, sewers, flues, chutes, chimneys, etc, in colour or monochrome with video recording facilities and in line colour photography.

    These surveys will determin the condition of drain line and any breaks or faults in the line. Used in conjunction with electronic tracing, our expert engineers can pin point the location of the damage thus keeping excavation and disruption to a minimum.

    We can also supply our customers with a copy of the survey on DVD or VHS video formats.

    So watch out, I might just post possibly the shittiest film ever shot in Greyabbey on YouTube. Would you watch it?

    3.12.07

    on the sidebar today ->

    if you really have to, today's reason to drink...
    December 3, 2007
    Check for a ramp at your favorite watering hole on this International Day of Disabled Persons.
    my del.icio.us
    confucius say...

    Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.

    and, you don't have to e-mail me...
    News, tips or crits...

    2.12.07

    Christmas time, mistletoe and wine


    At least Ed and Manuel don't find it that hard ;-)

    Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
    Children singing christian rhyme
    With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree
    A time for rejoicing in all that we see

    Come on everybody. It's gibbon time...

    We're the Goodies
    How do you do?
    We've just been down to the zoo
    We saw a monkey in a cage
    Doing a dance
    That could be the rage
    It's not hard
    So let's all do the funky gibbon
    Ooo, ooo, ooo

    Do, do, do the funky gibbon
    (The funky gibbon)
    We are here to show you how
    Everytime I read or hear about that stupid teacher Gillian Gibbons it reminds me of
    that song by the Goodies, all those years ago.
    Do, do, do the funky gibbon
    (The funky gibbon)
    We are here to show you how
    In Northern Ireland I've had to be and continue to be culturally aware, as I still value my kneecaps.I still try to avoid saying the letter 'H', for some reason it's a dead giveaway and lets people know what foot you kick with.When I was 'dj-ing'I knew the correct national anthem to play at the end of the night, even though I hit the wrong button once and accidentally played the German National Anthem.Being a Protestant,if I feel that I might need to learn more about Roman Catholicism to feel safe in an area full of Roman Catholics I will.

    This woman 'Funky Gillian' looks to me like she didn't give a damn, or was really stupid.

    I've been facebooked with a 'bear naming dilemma' too.The question was asked...

    Cyber asks:
    I need a name for my bear, what would you call him?


    Answers included...
    • Satan's Whelp
    • As long as you don't call it Mohammed, you'll be fine...
    • Swami Buddha McAbraham
    • Hard-To
    • Sheep Dipper

    As I'm a fine example of being culturally aware and sensitive to issues that affect the blogosphere and in the knowledge that the announcement of the name I have chosen will not endanger my life or the lives of those who answered my question. The bear has been formally named as

    Swami Buddha McAbraham

    as suggested by a blogger who can be found here, unless he needs to be moved into protective custody because of my foolishness.