CyberScroll [Aug 07 -Apr 08]: December 2007

Between your legs.

Everybody.. lets get this started and see what creative movie titles we can come up with.. here's the rules.. think up a movie title(ANY movie title), and add "Between Your Legs" to the movie title..ill get it goin...continue to forward this!!!

Littler Britain The Ring Between your legs

Cindy :- Rush Hour Between Your Legs

Patrick :- Gone with the wind Between your legs

Carl :- Finding Nemo Between your legs

Damian:- Mad MAx Between your legs

David:- Armageddon Between your legs

Andre: - 300 Between your legs

Trace: - Dirty Dancing Between your legs...

Amy: Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure Between Your Legs

Jordy: Midnight Express Between your legs

Joshua: Training Day Between your legs

Callie: Cruel Intentions Between your Legs

Tom: Final Fantasy Between your legs

Garrett: The Abyss Between your legs

Scotty: Groundhog Day Between Your Legs

Flash: Blow between your legs

Julia: The Sweetest Thing between your legs

Gemma: The Grinch between your legs

Bully: Jaws between your legs

Laura Grease between your legs

brett: snatch between your legs!

Gina: The Hand between your legs

Tony: Bad Taste between your legs

Nick : Hot Fuzz between your legs

Pete: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly between your legs

Andrea: it's a boy girl thing between your legs

Zen: The Thing Between Your Legs

Susan: From Dusk 'Till Dawn Between Your Legs

Go on, if you want to...

Overheard in a car park earlier today...

"Be Good"
"If you can't be good, be careful"
"If you can't be careful, remember the date"

10.12.07

Titillating titles?

If I was to try and write one of those 'rant type' blog posts tonight I'd have to pick a titillating title.Let's see

Once upon a time there was a builder from Portaferry called *******.

Trevor, Dickhead Of The Day!

What's that smell? Oh it's just the usual Greyabbey smell.

And the Oscar goes to *******.

A fortnight to Christmas, do you think I give a fuck?

I can't decide, so I'll leave you with...

I might be back sooner than you think :-)

7.12.07

Spake Belfast lik

A
Afeard - scared
Ah - I or me, ie Ah don't feel well
Aminal -common mispronounciation of Animal
Amptinat? -I most definitely am.
Ar$ehole -calling someone a rectum
Aye -meaning "yes"

B
Balleex -"b0ll0cks" Thats balleex - Used in context when disagreeing with someone
Bake -someones face
Baltic - quite cold
Banjaxed - drunk
Bate -beat, I bate her up so ah did
Bate The Wife - bottle of cider
Beef -male sexual organ ie "Ah slipped her the beef lawst nite"
Beezer - Very good, Thats Beezer
Beg -wafer thin plastic vessel; good for carrying shopping :also oul' beg" when referring to an elderly female
Blurt -Slang for female genetalia
Boggen - dirty, unclean
Boulin' -messing about
Bout Ye -"Hello"
Brave - large
Brew - weekly benefit
Buggered -broken

C
Cameracorder -grannies use of the word "camcorder"
Cheeser -like Beezer, meaning "very good" or "exellent"
Chicken -child slang for "afraid"
Chinks -popular Chinese food Take Aways
Childer -children
Cracker -not something you put cheese on, means beezer
Creamed -tired

D
Dander -a walk, ie I'm goin fer a dander
Dawg -canine, dog
Digikil -common mis-prounciation of "Digital"
Drawers -underwear
Dour -a door
Duncher -Cap

E
Earlee-er -before the present
Eejit -derived from "Idiot", means "Idiot"
Eff Aaf - F*ck Off

F
FaakAaf - Excuse me my good man, kindly vacate the premises
Faaler -father
Fally - follow
Fillum -a movie or film
Fingy -someone whose name you can't remember
Frig -polite word for "F*ck", also used: Flip
Flour - a floor
Fut - foot

G
Gat -slang, You're a wee gat or get
Geg -fun, "Ats a geg"
Getawaydaf*ck -go away now
Givuz -give me
Glass -Half-Pint
Goes -replaces the word "Said" ie And I goes: What? Are you slabberin'?" And then she goes,Yip."
Gutties -training shoes

H
Happy Days - that's good
Hardly -meaning "Thats not true" ie Hardly now. Hardly.
Hectic - See Mad
Heel -not to be confused with the back of your foot, means end of a loaf
Heerzme - "And then I said..."
Hippy - someone who likes Bon Jovi
Houl On -please wait

J
Job -activity usually carried out under the cover of night
Joken -joking

K
Kudn't -couldn't ie Ah kudn't do that...

L
Lairdindeyit -please do start eating (or drinking) see also
"wiredintillit"
Leenantarsapees -Famous Italian landmark
Lifted - arrested
Lingo -language

M
Mad - See Hectic
Mairshen -Emersion Heater
Magic -not tricks, but another word meaning great or good
Majassif - large
Mawn -a man, male
Meat Wagon -RUC Landrovers
Melt -no actual meaning, used as: "I'll knock your melt in"
Messages - weekly shopping
Milly -name given to teenage females. See also: Steek
Moufycunt - rather outspoken person
Mucker -a friend or mate
Muller -Mother or "Ma"

N
Nek it - drink that drink in one
Nice One -that was good
Norman -bullying term for someone with no friends
Norwegain - Another Gin please
Now Yer Sucken Deezel -that's a good way of going about that

O
Offees -alchohol retailer
Oi -a yelp for someones attention ie Oi! You! C'mere!"
Oxters -Armpits

P
Pat - container in which food is boiled
Prably -maybe, its likely
Passion -heavy rain in Ballymena
Parfil - strong
Peeler -a police officer
Piece-sandwich
Pot - short for Patrick
Pssskety -common misprounciation of "Spaghetti"
Pump - to urinate
Purdie -countryside slang for Potato

Q
Quim -slang for female genetalia

R
Ragin' -angry, Ahm bloody ragin' so ah am.
Ration -you'd be doing this if you were trying to get to somewhere
in a hurry, in Ballymena
Rare -not to be confused with "scarce", means crap

S
Samitch -mispronunciation of "Sandwhich"
Scundered - embarrassed
Sebm -seven [7]
Shap -shop
Shar -a shower
Sicken' Ye - would annoy you
Skinned Ye! - Haha my good friend, I do believe I won that particular game by a significant margin
Slabber -someone who makes bad comments about you behind your back or to your face
Spoofen - lying
Spide - see Steek
Spoon -someone with a low IQ
Steek -male with bad dress and hair sense
Stroked - stolen / ripped off

T
Ta -Thank You
Tarl - a towel
Theee -the number three
Theee Leet - 3 litre bottle of cider
Till -replaces the word "to" ie Goin till the shap"
Tube -see: Spoon
Two Leet - 2 litre bottle of cider

U
Undurstawnd -understand ie Do ye undurstawnd me?

V
Vaka -Vodka

W
Weaker -yet another word for "brilliant"
Welt -male genitals
Wee -put in front of words such as "drink", "dander", and basically anything
Wick -not exactly brilliant
Willik - nose
Wiredintillit -"Got wiredintillit earlee-er"
Windie -a window
Windielickurs -horrid term for the mentally disadvantage
Windie Still -a window sill
Wheelie bin - a bin
Wooden One -not a clever person

X
X-Acktlee-exactly

Y
Yermaa -an insult said when nothing else can be thought of
Yeegittin? -Are you being served?
Yip -yes
Yousens - When addressing more than one person

6.12.07

This is just an experiment.

I'm typing...

best buy,cartoon television,computer,early television,media,north korea,radio, studebaker,telephone,Television,television facts,television programmes,television sets,television shows,television statistics,television timeline,television violence,tv,tv guide,watching television

just to see what happens here.

In the near future...

There shall be posted on this blog, answers to questions.These questions were sent using electronic mail to members of the Northern Irish Bloggers Web Ring

Q&A's already include...

Who is your favourite comedian?- Bertie Ahern ! Before he 'took to the stage' , it was Charlie Haughey !

If you were to relive your life to this point, is there anything you'd do differently? yep

If you won a million on the Lotto what would you spend it on?: one penny coins so I could spend my dying days counting on something.

I bet you just can't wait.

5.12.07

Blast Off!

It hasn't happened yet, but when the word blaster or blast is mentioned it reminded me of when I was young. Yes I am really old, old enough to remember watching Dixon of Dock Green on one of those newly fangled television sets. A sign of old age is you start to ramble slightly and go off track. My home help , who helps me blog, has reminded me "tell them about Sunday School".

When I attended Sunday School at a 'fundie evangelical church' one of the choruses they sang was

The Blast Off Song

10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,
Blast Off

Somewhere in outer space
God has prepared a place
For those who trust Him and obey
Jesus will come again
And though we don't know when
The countdown's getting lower every day.
CHORUS:
10 and 9, 8 and 7, 6 and 5 and 4,
Call upon the Savior while you may,
3 and 2, coming through the clouds in bright array
The countdown's getting lower every day.

Jesus was crucified, suffered and bled he died,
But on the cross He did not stay
He made this promise true, I will come back for you,
The countdown's getting lower every day.

CHORUS

Soon will the trumpet sound, and we’ll rise off the ground
With Christ forever will we be
Children where will you be, throughout eternity?
The countdown’s getting lower everyday!

As I'm really old and don't have long to live and because I believe in 'eternal security' from my investigations and from ~~studying the Scriptures~~ I know I'll go to heaven when I die. Heaven will probably look something like this.

The people in heaven with me, they are all a bunch of?

4.12.07

Possibly the shittiest film ever shot in Greyabbey.

It normally takes a year for us to fill up our septic tank. A septic tank, for those uninformed city dwellers is...

A single-story, watertight, on-site treatment system for domestic sewage, consisting of one or more compartments, in which the sanitary flow is detained to permit concurrent sedimentation and sludge digestion. The septic tank is constructed of materials not subject to decay, corrosion, or decomposition, such as precast concrete, reinforced concrete, concrete block, or reinforced resin and fiberglass. The tank must be structurally capable of supporting imposed soil and liquid loads. Septic tanks are used primarily for individual residences, isolated institutions, and commercial complexes such as schools, prisons, malls, fairgrounds, summer theaters, parks, or recreational facilities. Septic tanks have limited use in urban areas where sewers and municipal treatment plants exist.
Septic tanks do not treat sewage; they merely remove some solids and condition the sanitary flow so that it can be safely disposed of to a subsurface facility such as a tile field, leaching pools, or buried sand filter. The organic solids retained in the tank undergo a process of liquefaction and anaerobic decomposition by bacterial organisms. The clarified septic tank effluent is highly odorous, contains finely divided solids, and may contain enteric pathogenic organisms. The small amounts of gases produced by the anaerobic bacterial action are usually vented and dispersed to the atmosphere without noticeable odor or ill effects. source www.answers.com

We haven't been overeating or over drinking or over washing or over showering or leaving all the taps running 24 hours a day, but somehow our tank is full. The tank was emptied a month ago.This has caused a few problems which, just in case your eating, I'll not share here. Our problems will cease tomorrow because not only is the tank being emptied but Master Blaster will call with his film crew. They claim...

We undertake CCTV of drains, sewers, flues, chutes, chimneys, etc, in colour or monochrome with video recording facilities and in line colour photography.
These surveys will determin the condition of drain line and any breaks or faults in the line. Used in conjunction with electronic tracing, our expert engineers can pin point the location of the damage thus keeping excavation and disruption to a minimum.

We can also supply our customers with a copy of the survey on DVD or VHS video formats.

So watch out, I might just post possibly the shittiest film ever shot in Greyabbey on YouTube. Would you watch it?

3.12.07

on the sidebar today ->

if you really have to, today's reason to drink...

December 3, 2007
Check for a ramp at your favorite watering hole on this International Day of Disabled Persons.

my del.icio.us

• Poet laureate hails province's prizewinners
Derek Mahon, Seamus Heaney, Matt Kirkham, Maureen Boyle, Sinead Morrissey, Miriam Gamble...
• Southside poet’s memories of Belfast
Dun Laoghaire based poet, Gerald Dawe, has released a new book ‘My Mother City’ that chronicles his early life in Belfast during the 1950s and 1960s...
• Wonder of ancient wood must not be allowed to be destroyed
Saturday morning, we went walking in the woods. About 60 of us, aged from seven to 70, assembled at Prehen Wood...

confucius say...
Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.

and, you don't have to e-mail me...

News, tips or crits...

2.12.07

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine

At least Ed and Manuel don't find it that hard ;-)

Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
Children singing christian rhyme
With logs on the fire and gifts on the tree
A time for rejoicing in all that we see

Come on everybody. It's gibbon time...

We're the Goodies
How do you do?
We've just been down to the zoo
We saw a monkey in a cage
Doing a dance
That could be the rage
It's not hard
So let's all do the funky gibbon
Ooo, ooo, ooo

Do, do, do the funky gibbon
(The funky gibbon)
We are here to show you how

Everytime I read or hear about that stupid teacher Gillian Gibbons it reminds me of
that song by the Goodies, all those years ago.

Do, do, do the funky gibbon
(The funky gibbon)
We are here to show you how

In Northern Ireland I've had to be and continue to be culturally aware, as I still value my kneecaps.I still try to avoid saying the letter 'H', for some reason it's a dead giveaway and lets people know what foot you kick with.When I was 'dj-ing'I knew the correct national anthem to play at the end of the night, even though I hit the wrong button once and accidentally played the German National Anthem.Being a Protestant,if I feel that I might need to learn more about Roman Catholicism to feel safe in an area full of Roman Catholics I will.

This woman 'Funky Gillian' looks to me like she didn't give a damn, or was really stupid.

I've been facebooked with a 'bear naming dilemma' too.

The question was asked...

Cyber asks:
I need a name for my bear, what would you call him?

Answers included...

Satan's Whelp
As long as you don't call it Mohammed, you'll be fine...
Swami Buddha McAbraham
Hard-To
Sheep Dipper

As I'm a fine example of being culturally aware and sensitive to issues that affect the blogosphere and in the knowledge that the announcement of the name I have chosen will not endanger my life or the lives of those who answered my question. The bear has been formally named as

Swami Buddha McAbraham

as suggested by a blogger who can be found here, unless he needs to be moved into protective custody because of my foolishness.

CyberScroll [Aug 07 -Apr 08]

12.12.07

Wishing you all a...

11.12.07

Between your legs.