21.10.07

The Bible reading this morning is from...

John Chapter 3

1 Naow dis guy Nicodemus iz a Pharisee and leeds teh Jews.

2 He comez to teh Jesus in teh nites and he sez "We knoes u comez frum teh Ceiling Cat and we knoes u pwn."

3 An Jesus sed, "Ceiling Cat has invisible haus, u gots 2 borned agen 2 see it."

4 Nicodemus sez, "wtf dood? How doez dat werk?"

5 Jesus sez, "is da truth, u hafta be born agen wif waterz an spiritz an stuffs.

6 Flesh givez birf 2 flesh, but teh spirit gives birf to spirit, k?

7 Y r u so konfoozled?

8 Is lyke wind, it doz its own stuffs an u dunno how it werks, but is all ok, amirite? Is like that!"

9 Nicodemus sez, "I doez not get it." :(

10 "Den ur not gud teecher," sed Jesus. Burn!

11 "Ok, iz da twoof. We says sum stuff dat we sawed, and teh peeplez is still konfoozled.

12 I ben talkin bout teh stuffs on Earth and ur still lyke, 'whut?' so whut bout Heaven an stuffs?

13 I iz da only wan whos gone to Heaven so u haves 2 trusts me, mkay?

14 U gots 2 b lifteded up lyke Moses an his snakedy thingy,

15 coz if u beleeves ur not gon be ded! Eternal lifes, u can has it!

16 So liek teh Ceiling Cat lieks teh ppl lots and he sez 'Oh hai I givez u my only son and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k?'

17 Cuz teh Ceiling Cat not snd hiz son 2 take all yur cookies, but so u cud maek moar cookies 4EVAR!"

The LOLCat Bible Translation Project



Thanks be to God, Lolcats and to I.Z Reloaded for introducing me to this translation of God's Word.

2 comments:

ellie said...

"Oh hai I givez u my only son and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k?"

Was giggling up to that point then I burst!
Excellent

CyberScribe said...

I reckon it's a bit like Ulster/Scots and you need to read it with a Portavogie accent.