John Chapter 3
1 Naow dis guy Nicodemus iz a Pharisee and leeds teh Jews.
2 He comez to teh Jesus in teh nites and he sez "We knoes u comez frum teh Ceiling Cat and we knoes u pwn."
3 An Jesus sed, "Ceiling Cat has invisible haus, u gots 2 borned agen 2 see it."
4 Nicodemus sez, "wtf dood? How doez dat werk?"
5 Jesus sez, "is da truth, u hafta be born agen wif waterz an spiritz an stuffs.
6 Flesh givez birf 2 flesh, but teh spirit gives birf to spirit, k?
7 Y r u so konfoozled?
8 Is lyke wind, it doz its own stuffs an u dunno how it werks, but is all ok, amirite? Is like that!"
9 Nicodemus sez, "I doez not get it." :(
10 "Den ur not gud teecher," sed Jesus. Burn!
11 "Ok, iz da twoof. We says sum stuff dat we sawed, and teh peeplez is still konfoozled.
12 I ben talkin bout teh stuffs on Earth and ur still lyke, 'whut?' so whut bout Heaven an stuffs?
13 I iz da only wan whos gone to Heaven so u haves 2 trusts me, mkay?
14 U gots 2 b lifteded up lyke Moses an his snakedy thingy,
15 coz if u beleeves ur not gon be ded! Eternal lifes, u can has it!
16 So liek teh Ceiling Cat lieks teh ppl lots and he sez 'Oh hai I givez u my only son and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k?'
17 Cuz teh Ceiling Cat not snd hiz son 2 take all yur cookies, but so u cud maek moar cookies 4EVAR!"
Thanks be to God, Lolcats and to I.Z Reloaded for introducing me to this translation of God's Word.